


In My Veins

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Ashivia Prompts [1]
Category: All American (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, First Kiss, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Love Confessions, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:08:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: Asher doesn't mean to fall in love, especially not with Olivia Baker. Like most things, that's out of his control. Just like she is. When Olivia spirals a little too far, Asher has two choices, both of which could mean losing her. In the end he decides the risk of her hating him is worth it, as long as she's alive to do it.





	In My Veins

**Author's Note:**

  * For [manonlemelon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/manonlemelon/gifts).



> For Manon who sent the prompt: "I love you, I always have." from [this list](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/post/168056218878/dialogue-prompts) of prompts.  
> Title comes from [In My Veins](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q0KZuZF01FA) by Andrew Belle

Falling in love had never been part of Asher’s plan, but of course he had to fuck that up like everything else. He knows how messy relationships can get. He’s seen it first hand with his parents. So he’s been content to focus on football and getting into a good university. Doing what he can to make his father proud. Though of course that doesn’t always work either. There’s always something he could improve on or do differently or work harder for. It’s never enough.

The only person who seems to notice is Olivia. Then again, she’s always been the most perceptive of them. She’ll talk to him about things, or just listen as he vents out his frustrations. Sure, sometimes she’ll tell him he’s being an ass and call him on his shit, but she never makes him feel bad. It’s a lot different than Jordan clapping him on the shoulder and telling him it’ll be better.

It’s the beginning of summer break and they’re at yet another party. Asher doesn’t admit that sometimes he tires of them. He can’t. He knows it’s part of his social existence that he goes to them. So he does. Olivia is there, in the corner with a few of their friends. He can tell by the way she’s leaning against the wall that something is off with her.

“I think she took pills again,” Jordan says, coming up next to him. He doesn’t sound happy. “I keep telling her it’s not a good idea but she won’t listen.”

“Do you want me to get her out of here?” Asher asks, reluctantly taking his gaze off Olivia to look at his best friend.

“You don’t mind?” Jordan asks.

Asher shrugs, “I’m not really feeling it tonight anyway. I was planning to grab an Uber. So I’ll take her home.”

A little of the tension leaves Jordan’s face, “Thanks man. My parents are out for the weekend so you don’t have to worry about them. You know where the key is.”

Asher nods and watches him walk away before going off to find Olivia. She grins at him when she sees him approaching, “Ashhhher!”

“Hey there,” Asher says, grinning down at her. “Let’s get out of here.”

Olivia squints up at him, “Why? The party is just getting started.”

“Nah I think we’ll have more fun elsewhere,” Asher says, holding out his hand for her. “Come on.”

He’s surprised when she puts her hand in his, having expected her to put up more of a fight. But rather than letting him pull her to her feet, she gives a hard tug on his hand that has him stumbling and falling on top of her.

“You’re a menace,” he says, grinning at her.

She grins right back, “Maybe you should look more convincing while saying that. Otherwise I might start to think you actually like me.”

“I do like you,” Asher tells her. The words shouldn’t feel so big to him. They’re friends. Of course he likes her. But looking down at her now, he knows it’s so much more than that. “We need to go.”

Olivia’s eyes bore into his, and he has to fight the urge to lean down and kiss her. He can’t do that. Not here. Not like this. Not when he’s just starting something with Layla, even if they’ve agreed they’re not exclusive. He can’t do this…

Olivia leans in, her lips barely brushing against his as she speaks, “Take me home.”

Asher knows it’s a bad idea, even as they kiss heatedly in the backseat of the Uber on their way back to Olivia’s. He just can’t bring himself to care. Not when he finally knows what she feels like. What she tastes like. It’s something that before now he’s always just had to imagine. His head is spinning and he’s not sure if it’s from the alcohol or just the affect that Olivia has on him. All he knows is that he’s past caring. And as Olivia pushes him down onto her bed and crawls over him, reconnecting their lips in a messy kiss, her hands working their way under his shirt and setting his skin on fire, he’s tired of fighting it.

What he’s not expecting is to wake up the next morning to find Olivia stumbling around her room, picking up and discarding clothes. He lets himself watch her for a moment. Even hungover she looks beautiful.

“What are you doing up so early?” Asher asks her, letting out a tired yawn.

Olivia stills, and turns her head towards him. He smirks when her eyes drift down to his bare chest. Then she’s shaking her head and going back to the clothes on the floor. Asher frowns when she throws his boxers and then his shirt towards him, “Liv?”

“You need to go,” Olivia tells him. “My parents still aren’t back and Jordan is asleep so…”

“I was going to have him give me a ride back to my car when he wakes up,” Asher says, finally sitting up in the bed. Whatever good mood he’d woken up in has vanished.

“Fine,” Olivia says, throwing his pants onto the bed. “Then go to one of the guest rooms to sleep. You just can’t stay here.”

“But…”

“No buts Asher. You need to get out of here before someone sees you. God. This never should have happened.”

Asher feels his stomach drop at the words. She regrets it. Of course she does. He was stupid to think she could actually like him like that. So Asher gathers his clothes from the bed, quickly throwing on his boxers, and heads towards the door. As he goes he hears Olivia say three words that put it all into perspective: “Layla can’t know.”

***

The changes between them are subtle at first. Olivia decides not to have breakfast with Asher and Jordan in favor of eating out by the pool. Jordan just shrugs it off and says that she’s in one of her moods. At school on Monday she sits by herself, saying that she needs some peace to study. They’re decent excuses, and everyone else seems to buy them. But not Asher. He knows what Olivia is doing, and he hates it. It’s not as if he can tell anyone though. Olivia had made it clear that she wanted whatever happened between them to stay a secret. He’s not about to break her trust like that, even if letting her go is breaking him more than he ever thought it would.

Soon Olivia quits making excuses at all and just stops hanging out with them. Asher will still see her at parties but she’ll be off on her own or with other people. He can see her spiraling but he’s not sure how to stop it. The only good thing is that he’s not the only one to notice. He can tell Jordan is concerned as well, Layla too, but none of them know what to do. Olivia won’t let them in.

“I need you to talk to her,” Jordan tells him one night. It’s almost a month after he and Olivia slept together, and things have been getting worse between them with each day.

“I don’t know what I could say,” Asher says, glancing over at him. “It’s not as if she listens to me anymore.”

Jordan sighs, “But she used to. She’s just… having a hard time right now. I’m worried, Ash. It’s never been this bad and I’m afraid if we don’t try something we’ll lose her.”

That thought has passed through Asher’s mind a few times before. When they’re at parties and he’ll see Olivia off in a corner taking whatever is being handed to her. It’s as if she doesn’t care anymore. The thought scares him. Olivia might not want anything to do with him but he still cares about her. He can’t let her keeping doing this to herself. If he lost her… No. He can’t. He has to do something.

“I’ll try,” Asher says finally. “When she gets home.”

Jordan lets out a breath of relief and falls back onto his bed, “Thanks man.”

It’s a few hours later when Asher is jolted awake by a crash in the hall. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep. He’d planned to stay up and talk to Olivia. He must have dozed off, and then she slipped in. He yawns and gets out of the bed, stopping to stretch his sore muscles. He hadn’t exactly fallen asleep in the best position.

He makes his way towards the door and stops to listen, trying to pick up on any noise from Olivia. He can hear the sound of the sink running in the bathroom but other than that it’s silent. The sight of the cracked door has his heart speeding up as an uneasy feeling settles over him. Something isn’t right. His pace feels too slow as he walks down the hall towards the bathroom. It’s still silent inside apart from the sink, and when Asher pushes the door open he can see a figure on the floor. Olivia.

“Liv,” Asher says, his voice frantic as he rushes towards her. She’s not moving, just lying there in a heap on the floor. She’s so still that for a moment he’s afraid she’s not even breathing. A chill goes through him at the thought of turning her over and rather than seeing her face flushed and warm he’ll see cold, dead eyes. It’s happened before. Not with her, of course. But he’s seen people overdo it at parties and had to watch as friends or acquaintances were carted off to the hospital. He never thought one of those people would be Olivia. She’s always assured them she has it all under control. He really should have known better. Especially after her behavior the past few weeks. He should have tried to talk to her sooner.

He raises his shaking hands to her shoulders and gently turns her over. He can see her chest moving now, slowly, but she’s breathing.

“Olivia,” he whispers, then raises his voice, needing her to hear him. “Olivia!”

She groans and tries to turn away from him. “Why are you being so loud?”

“Oh I don’t know,” Asher says, his words tinged with anger. “Maybe because I just found you passed out in the floor barely breathing.”

“‘M fine,” Olivia mumbles. “You… worry too much.”

Her words are too slow and her gaze is unfocused, looking off somewhere over Asher’s shoulder. Asher sighs and moves to wrap his arms around her so he can lift her to where she’s leaning with her back against the tub.

“You’re not fine. God Olivia you are so far from fine.”

Olivia laughs, “Maybe. But it’s not as if you care.”

“Of course I care,” Asher snaps. “You’re the one that… you know what. It doesn’t matter. We need to get you help.”

Asher goes to stand up, but a hand on his arm stops him. “No please. Don’t tell.”

Her grip is loose, more of a ghost of a touch than anything. Asher knows he could easily break out of it, so he does. He can’t do this anymore. He can’t stand by and watch her spiral like this. She lets out a long breath and then her eyes start to drift closed.

Asher balls back onto the tile floor next to her, taking her face in his hands, “Olivia?” When all she does is groan he starts to panic. “Olivia!” He turns towards the door, raising his voice louder, hoping that someone will hear him. “Jordan! Coach! Mrs. Baker! Anyone! Help!”

Asher turn back to Olivia to see her staring up at him. Her gaze is still a little unfocused but he doesn’t miss the betrayed look in her eyes as she whispers out: “How could you?”

“I’m sorry, Liv.” Asher says, his voice soft. “You might hate me, but your life is more important than any resentment you might feel for me.”

Asher turns when he hears loud footsteps outside the door to see Jordan stopping there, followed by his parents.

“I don’t have my phone,” Asher says. “But you should probably call 911. I don’t know how much she took and she doesn’t look good.”

Jordan just stands there, staring down at Olivia as his parents move into the room towards her. Asher moves back to give them room and turns to Jordan, “Jordan! Now!”

It’s a blur after that, the Baker’s trying to keep Olivia conscious. Asher having to go downstairs to let the paramedics in when they arrive. Then them loading her onto a stretcher and wheeling her out towards the ambulance.

As they roll her by Asher, Olivia grabs his arm, making them have to stop for a moment. She glares up at him. “I’ll never forgive you.”

Asher doesn’t get a chance to respond before she’s letting him go and then they’re taking her away. Jordan tries to reassure him that she’ll get over it. Asher isn’t so sure. But he knows even if Olivia never speaks to him again it will be worth it. She might hate him, but at least she’ll be alive to do it.

 

**5 months later**

Asher looks over at where Olivia is lounging on one of the pool chairs, her sunglasses perched low on her nose as she reads a book. He knows she can feel his eyes on her but she doesn’t say anything, she just keeps thumbing through her book, every so often stopping to take a drink from her bottle of water.

Asher doesn’t know how long it goes on before she finally sighs and puts her book down, glaring at him over her sunglasses, “Well? Are you going to talk to me or continue to be a creep and stare at me as I read?”

“I wasn’t being a creep,” Asher says, unable to keep the grin off his face as he makes his way over to her. He falls back onto the lounge chair next to hers and turns his head in her direction, “I didn’t expect you to actually talk to me.”

“I’ve evolved,” Olivia tells him.

“Into what exactly?” Asher teases. “A peacock?”

Olivia nudges his leg with her foot, “No, you ass. A decent human being. Something you clearly know nothing about.”

“Hey,” Asher says, putting a hand to his chest. “I can be decent.”

“Decent at being an ass,” Olivia smirks.

Asher grins, “God I’ve missed you.”

Olivia’s expression morphs into one of surprise before she’s smiling, softer this time. “Yeah, I guess I’ve missed you too.”

“You guess?”

“Well I can’t have you thinking I was pining over you or anything,” Olivia tells him. “It might go to your head.”

Asher stares at her a moment, taking in how relaxed she is. How happy. It’s taken a while but she’s finally getting back to being her old self. Maybe not completely. Too much has happened for her to ever be like that again, but she’s close.

“I have been,” Asher says, the words leaving his mouth before he can think better of them.

Olivia’s brows knit together in confusion, “Have been what?”

“Pining.”

Olivia rolls her eyes, “For Layla? I thought you were over that.”

“Not for Layla,” Asher says, not letting his eyes leave Olivia’s. “For you.”

Olivia laughs, seeming to think Asher is messing with her. He’s not. When she realizes that her face grows serious. “You’re not… wait. You’re serious?”

“I am,” Asher tells her.

“But Layla…”

“I cared about Layla,” Asher says. “But I didn’t love her. Not the way I should have. I couldn’t. Not when I just kept thinking about you.”

“Asher…”

Asher can only give her a sheepish smile, “I love you, I always have.”

He lets out a surprised yell when she kicks his chair, hard enough to send it tipping over. He jumps to his feet and stares at her in shock, “What the hell, Olivia?”

“You are such an ass!” She shouts, getting to her feet and stalking towards him. He moves back when she pokes him in the chest. “You wait until _now_ to tell me? When I’ve finally started thinking that _maybe_ I can move on enough to be your friend.”

“What are you talking about?” Asher yells back, feeling more confused than ever. “You’re the one that said you wanted to forget what happened between us!”

“Because I thought you loved Layla! You and her were together, and then we slept together. She was my best friend, Ash.”

“We weren’t exclusive,” Asher tells her. “Not back then. It was her idea. We started to be a month after you went to rehab, but we both realized that was a mistake. I just… I thought you regretted what happened between us and weren’t interested.”

Olivia groans and buries her face in her hands, “You’re so stupid.”

“I am?” Asher asks, affronted. “It seems we’re on equal levels right now, Liv.”

Olivia lifts her head, and Asher is surprised to see a grin on her face. She steps forward, her hands trailing from his hips up to his chest. For a moment Asher thinks she’s going to kiss him. Then he finds himself stumbling back, his arms flailing wildly as he teeters on the edge of the pool. He hits the water hard, barely having time to hold his breath before he’s going under. When he resurfaces, he brings a hand up to brush the hair back out of his eyes and glares at a laughing Olivia.

“That was too easy,” she says. She comes to kneel next to the edge of the pool when Asher swims to the edge.

“You’re the worst,” Asher says, but can’t keep the smile off his face. It’s hard when she’s looking at him like that.

Her hand comes out to brush the hair off his forehead, a fond smile gracing her lips. “Yeah, but you love me.”

“I’m starting to rethink that decision,” Asher tells her.

She leans in, her lips hovering just out of reach, “You’re not.”

This time she does kiss him, soft and sweet and so different from the heated kisses they shared all those months ago. Asher thinks he prefers this. When she goes to pull back, her eyes blinking open to meet his, Asher grins. He snakes an arm around her back and then pulls her forward. She lets out a startled yell as she falls into the pool. Asher doesn’t let her go under, though he easily could.

“What the hell, Ash?”

“I thought you might like to join me for a swim,” Asher tells her.

“You have a funny way of asking,” Olivia mutters.

“Says the person who pushed me into the pool not even 5 minutes ago,” Asher counters.

“Point made,” Olivia smiles. “And I suppose this isn’t so bad.”

Asher tightens his arms around her and starts to swim backwards, “It’s really not.”

She kisses him again, whispering out an “I love you,” against his lips. All he can do is kiss her back, and vow to hold onto this as long as he can. He knows they still have issues to work through, but he knows they’ll get through it, just like they always do.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day. ♥  
> [My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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